Don't Trust a Stoll
by ShadowsofDestruction13
Summary: Oneshot. One should never get romantic advice from the Stoll brothers... Rating due to song lyrics


**Disclaimer: The Percy Jackson series belongs to Rick Riordan And The Bitch Song is property of Bowling for Soup**

**Okay, this is my attempt at a semi-humorous fic. I hope you like it.**

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Percy was in deep water with Annabeth. Again. They had _another_ fight about Luke and now Annabeth was not speaking to him. He was lying on the beach thinking about what to do when the Stoll twins walked up to him. "We heard about your, uh, little 'spat' with Annabeth." "You did?" "Well yeah, it was hard not to with her screaming across the camp at you. But anyway that's beside the point. We came to offer our services in helping you win her back." " Your services?" " Oh yeah, we're experts on romance. Almost better then the Aphrodite kids, and we don't talk your ears off." "Huh. What do you have in mind?" "Well, in a situation like this you've got to go classic. We were thinking about the old 'playing a boom box outside her window with romantic music playing'." "You mean in those super cheesy old romance films?" "? Yes, exactly like that. Here's the song you'll play. We picked it out especially for this situation. Now, here's what you'll say…"

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Percy was walking towards the Athena cabin, carrying a boom box and feeling extremely stupid. However, he had decided that he would trust the Stoll brothers. So he sent a scout (Nico) in to get Annabeth to come out as he hid beside the cabin. As soon as he saw Annabeth come out of the cabin he stepped out to face her. "Percy? What are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to see you. Just leave me alone." "I-I've come to win your love back!" Percy stuttered as he tried to remember what Travis and Conner told him to say. He then started the tape the twins gave him.

"_Is it okay if I speak to you today?_

_You been pissed off for a week now;_

_But nothing I could say could make you look up…_

_Or crack up!_

_Is there anything that I can do,_

_anything to show you?_

_You're a bitch, but I love you anyway!_

_Ohhhh, you can't sing, but you still put me to sleep!_

_You're a bitch, heey hey hey hey!_

_You make me sick but don't ever go away!"_

"Hey, wait what kind of make up song is this?" Percy asked as Nico smothered his laughter and Annabeth clenched her hands into fists red-facedly.

"_So you tell me that there's nothing left to say;_

_I drive you face the window,_

_Then you're in my face!_

_Telling me to grow up_

_Ohhh ohh oh I wish you'd grow up!_

_Ohhh ohh oh I can't wait until you fall asleep!_

_I wonder if you know that_

_You're a bitch, but I love you anyway!_

_Ohhh you can't sing but you still put me to sleep!_

_You're a bitch heey hey hey hey!_

_You make me sick but don't ever go away!"_

Nico could no longer control his laughter and was rolling on the ground. "Annabeth, I swear I didn't do this! Well, I did do it, but I didn't plan it! Please listen to me!

"_You're a bitch, but I love you anyway!_

_Ohhh you can't sing but you still put me to sleep!_

_You're a bitch heey hey hey hey!_

_You make me sick but don't ever go away!_

_Yeah, you're a bitch, but I love you anyway!_

_So why don't ya stay?"_

The song was over. Annabeth slowly started to walk towards Percy with a shadow over her eyes. When she was right in front off him, Percy let out a whimper. "Please don't kill me.

**SLAP!!!**

Annabeth stormed off into her cabin pushing aside a still chuckling Nico. Nico walked up to Percy and wiped away a tear. "That was hilarious! But seriously dude, THAT was your big make-up plan? Why would you EVER think that would work?" Nico walked away and left Percy feeling confused and betrayed, and with a red handprint on his cheek.

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Off in the bushes, Conner Stoll was celebrating. "I _told_ you she'd slap him! Now pay up!" "Man, I thought for sure that she'd go for his groin! Double or nothing on what Clarisse will do to the new campers that 'stole her spear'?" "You're on!" The two twins ran off to locate one electric spear.

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**So what do you think? Love it? Loathe it? Think the author needs to be fed to a Drakon for corrupting the minds of innocent little children? Review!**


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